To the editor:
Before we begin to have some fun, allow me to make just a few corrections to recent letters. Thanks to the editors for printing the correction to a previous letter I had writer, General Motors is the world's leading car maker, not Ford as was written. This only serves my point better, as GM did accept the bailout loan that Mitt Romney was against.
The second correction is in another letter. I do not wish to defend John Edwards, but truth is truth. It was not Edwards, but, in fact, Newt Gingrich who served his wife with divorce papers while she was in the hospital. Elizabeth Edwards was divorcing John Edwards. I don't know if it was finalized before her tragic death. It probably would be a good thing to verify the facts before you commit them to print. You can have your own opinion, but not your own facts. How's your credibility feeling? Maybe it's in the hospital.
Now, to get started on the fun. Have you noticed that the conversation has veered off to the right lately and into social and moral issues? I believe that is because the right is finding it a little troublesome to criticize an improving economy, a foreign policy that has Libyans thanking us, Osama bin Laden and other dead terrorists strewn across the world landscape, manufacturing building momentum for the first time in decades and tax cuts, among other things, for the middle class.
These accomplishments kind of make it hard to campaign against, so what they need is a wedge issue to divide us once again. Why they picked a previously settled issue such as contraception, I have no clue.
What's that, you say? First Amendment and freedom of religion concerns? I can't quite understand you because your lack of understanding of the Constitution that you wave in the air instead of reading. It is not a fan.
Let's examine the First Amendment for a minute using examples. Here's a two-fer - Mormons believe that polygamy is right, while U.S. law does not. How did that work out?
Rastifarians believe that marijuana is a sacrament, U.S. law does not.
Last time I looked, it was still legal.
Vasectomies and Viagra have been paid for by insurance companies for quite some time now. Oh, that's right, they are for the benefit of men. Rick Santorum says, women, you are on your own.
Sorry, Rick and Mitt Romney for that previous use of logic because I know you believe that it has no place in decision-making. However, on the bright side, I have finally figured out who it is you guys remind me of. Romney, it's Thurston Howell III, and Santorum, you are much like the Church Lady on "Saturday Night Live."
As always, when I compare the famous to Republicans, I must ask the forgiveness of Jim Bacus and Dana Carvey. Sorry, guys. To the self-righteous and sanctimonious, no apologies.